I hate how I could be independent yet dependent. College-life really gives me lemons and punches me in the face. I hate myself for being so awkwardly shy. Not being able to adapt quickly in a new atmosphere really takes me into a lot of difficulties. Having felt like this for rather a long time did just prove that I didn't change at all and still being the couch-potato I used to be. Life sucks when you're around people who do amazing things but you're just standing there wearing a blank face not knowing what to do, facing the fact that you have no strength at all, that your 18-years-life didn't produce anything but a waste. I hate it when I'm reaching this lowest point of myself where all I can do is just sitting quietly, over thinking of anything that I've been through, blaming myself for any mistakes happened and finally drown in a deep sense of dismay. Ah, how I envy those who are confidently optimistic and cheerful.
Barusan gw ngomong apa....lagi-lagi bad grammar haha maaf yah. Cuap-cuap dikit bolehlah kan yak.